Government is really doing big tobacco companies a favour

The Government, despite spouting an 'anti-tobacco' message, is really in cahoots with the big cigarette companies. And the new ban on all forms of tobacco advertising just goes to prove it.

The latest form of prohibition came into effect last week. It means that not only must cigarettes and other tobacco products be hidden from the view of customers in shops, but all logos, advertising material, and other paraphanelia must disappear too.

That's the reason why there are sheets and reams of blank paper sellotaped up behind the counter of your own local store. They're hiding the big picture of the box of fags on the machine there, for allowing it to remain visible would leave the shop owners to being pursued by the full force of the law with a vigour far in excess of that used for crooked bankers and ageing child abusers.

Supposedly, the idea is that an 'out of sight, out of mind' situation will come to apply, and people won't think of buying fags if they can't see them behind the counter. But that's a load of nonsense, as anyone – including yours truly – who has ever been a smoker will tell you. If you're gasping for a smoke, it doesn't matter whether or not you can see the display in the shop; you know they're there anyway, and you just order them as normal.

Even if you're a teenager who's just staring to hang out behind the bike shed or on street corners or waste ground to smoke, you'll still find a way to get fags anyway – again, the fact that you can't actually see the stock on the shelves will be inconsequential.

The only thing is, since you can't see the full range on offer, you'll stick with the established brands only - so it'll be quids in for the Silk Cuts and Marlboros and John Player Blues and Benson and Hedges of this world. Any new player entering the market, like Winfield did a couple of years ago with their discount brand (about a euro cheaper than other fags), won't have a hope anymore, because they can no longer advertise the fact that they're there.

So the big companies hoover up an even greater proportion of the sales, and they get to keep more of that money too, because they no longer have to spend some of it on advertising materials.

The ban is one of the best things that could happen for them; far from hurting them, it will just see their profits increase, since a certain number of people will always smoke no matter how often they're told that they shouldn't.

It's like banning the ten-box a year or two ago. Nobody gave up on account of no longer being able to buy just ten at a time; instead, they smoked even more, because they usually had more to smoke after buying twenty.

Maybe whoever dreams up these schemes has shares in some of the tobacco companies!